What I Wanted To Do Today VS What I Actually Will Do
I think as a society we’ve all been taught to only care for ourselves and to put our own needs and wants in front of others, even our children at times.
Guys, truth bomb here, this is farthest from what we SHOULD be doing. And I’m going to tell you why.
I wanted to go to the gym this morning. I wanted to attend a class, but I couldn’t. You want to know why? My daughter’s weren’t having it. They woke up late because they both didn’t sleep the greatest last night. They hadn’t properly sat down for breakfast, but instead ran around eating while I tried to get myself ready and them ready. And I was frustrated. I just wanted them to work with me so we could get out the door in time for this class.
My oldest daughter, bless her little soul, was trying to put shoes away in my youngest daughters room and caught E’s fingers in the drawer on accident. I grabbed my crying youngest daughter and sat on the couch with her, as I did she looked at me with the sweetest eyes and cuddled into me. That’s when I stopped.
That’s when I slowed down and realized that I may want to do this today, but my girls don’t want to. They are feeling overwhelmed. They are feeling my frustration. They just want to play and be a 3 year old and a 16 month old at home today. We’re always running around, always on the go, and they don’t want to do that today.
It’s easy to ignore what your children want. We are the parents after all, but sometimes putting your kids wants and needs in front of yours as the parent really shows them something about your character and how you’re raising them. Its shows them you value how they feel and you respect them.
Now I'm not saying to give in to everything your child wants to do, nor is that healthy by any means. There has to be some sort of boundaries and rules. But we can slow down sometimes. We can realize that there’s so much more to life then the class at the gym, the Facebook video, the funny Snapchat our friend sent us from back home, the perfect picture Instagram we all think we have to have, the constantly going at the speed of light and only stopping to sleep at night. Sometimes looking at your child and realizing that they need you to slow down and be present for them is so important.
We were recently eating at Chick Fil A because my husband is obsessed (sorry for calling you out boo) but they have a play area for kids to run around and get all their energy out. Usually I steer far away from places like this because GERMS, but for some reason I was ok with it this day. So we grabbed a table by the window that looked into the play area and watched our oldest daughter play in there before we told her it was time to eat. At around the same time H came out to eat, a little girl maybe a year or two older followed her out and sat at a table behind us with her Dad. The whole time they ate he didn’t say a word to his daughter. He looked idly at his phone or took phone calls, all while not engaging in conversation with her. She got done eating and walked back into the play area around the same time we let both our daughter’s go in as well, she tried her hardest to talk to our oldest daughter, but we know that H has a speech delay so sometimes kids don’t get that. They all played for a few minutes and we then left.
What I’m trying to portray here is that our busy lives sometimes get the best of us. That Dad I’m sure had no ill intent and wasn’t purposely ignoring his daughter or not talking to her, but his phone and his work calls came first. What he needed to do and what he wanted to do, came in front of his daughter who was sitting right in front of him wanting to play with him or talk to him in some way.
I know in this day and age it’s so hard to put that phone down. To not think about all the things we have to do, we want to do, we need to do, and to SLOW DOWN. I’m not perfect and sometimes I put my wants and needs in front of others, but knowing when you need to stop and think about what you’re doing is so important these days.
So today, I’m going to put my kids first and put what they want to do in front of what I wanted to do. I’m going to sit on our oversized fluffy rug in the living room and poor fake coffee for my three year old and feed my 16 month old all the fake food from our kitchen set she wants to pretend to eat. I’m going to enjoy the belly giggles and the little mouths who can’t get out the words fast enough sometimes.
I’m going to slow down and enjoy this day with my daughters that I didn’t wake up and intend to have, but they had other plans for our day. Sometimes those days you didn’t intend to have, the days that take you by surprise, are the days you will remember forever.