• codiishername

We Can Do Hard Things

Dealing with postpartum anxiety and depression is hard. It’s something that takes hold of you, tugs you down, only let’s you come up for a breath every now and then, drags you into a deep tunnel with no light at the end if it, and makes you feel so alone and unloved. Every once in a while you feel like yourself-like “hey, this is an ok day and I can do this” and other days you’re like “nope, I can’t do this, I’m going to lay in bed and cry all day long.”

I’m here to tell you that it’s ok you feel like this.

It’s ok to cry. To yell. To not like yourself. To have a pity party. To lay in bed and not do anything all day long. To have to take medicine you don’t want to take to help this. And to sometimes let anxiety and depression win.

But I want you to also know YOU ARE STRONGER then this stuff.

Anxiety and depression will not be the death of you. You don’t have to let this beast control your life. You can and you WILL be happy again-like for real be happy.

That smile on your face, it won’t be fake for the rest of your life. That laugh you like to laugh, it’s not going to be forced forever. And your family and friends who love you dearly, will love you through the good and the bad times. They’re cheering you on from the sidelines and they will be there for you through it all.

Postpartum anxiety and depression suck. It’s still something I live with and deal with every single day. Sometimes are better than others. But my panic attacks aren’t every single day like they used to be. My anxiety doesn’t keep me up every single night. My depression doesn’t make me cry multiple days a time.

You will live through this like I did and like I am. Please know you are loved, you are supported, and you are not alone.

My journey with my postpartum is far from over. I read recently a story of a Mom who didn’t get help for her postpartum and suffered for three long years before it was addressed and she got the help she needed. I’m begging anyone who is struggling to please reach out to someone-anyone you know that can help you and get the help you so desperately deserve and need.

This is ME, working on myself. Trying to be the best version of Codi-military wife, mother to two and an Angel babe, daughter, friend, blogger and so much in between. This is ME trying to not let postpartum anxiety and depression win. This is ME not plastering a smile on my face for the first time in a long time and being truly happy-even if it was for a fleeting moment. This is ME trying so hard to not let this beast win.

Every day I get a little better. Everyday I push this more and more away. Everyday my prayers are answered and God grants me a little more grace. Everyday God shows me He’s in my life, He’s listening, and I just have to show up and be present and know He’s there, and everything will work itself out in the end.

I know I went through this and am going through this to help others in the process of helping myself. I don’t know the right answers. I don’t know what I’m doing 7 out of 10 times-but I know I’m trying my hardest. I know God is trying to help me along the way.

Postpartum depression and anxiety isn’t going to win. I’m not going to let it. Please, don’t let it win with you either. I am not alone. You are not alone. We got this. All of us can do hard things.

**Orginally posted on my blog Facebook page ( on November 24th, 2018**


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