This Is Motherhood
This is motherhood.
This is tiredness beyond belief.
This is joy beyond belief.
This is a “hey girls, take this picture with me so I remember how our morning was forever” moment.
This isn’t a photoshopped picture-this is a real morning, with two toddlers, Mom caught in the middle picture.
This is real.
This motherhood is full of anxiety, panic, and tears.
This is real life.
This is hard.
But I put this smile on my face because I know I have to. I know I have to be ok for them. And I try my hardest every single day to be ok for my girls. I try to be strong for them.
This motherhood journey-my motherhood journey-isn’t what I expected it to be. I’m not exactly sure how I pictured motherhood being pregnant with my oldest, but this anxiety part wasn’t part of my perfect motherhood picture.
But I try my hardest everyday to make sure my children are happy and that they remember the good over the bad. I don’t want them remembering Mommy being sad for whatever reason, or Mommy crying because of who knows why.
This is me trying so hard to not let them know that Mommy was up a lot of the night before because her anxiety was in her mind and wouldn’t calm down.
This anxiety part of motherhood, the real in the trenches anxiety that you have to force yourself out of day in and day out, is not part of the plan with any of us.
This motherhood journey is no walk in the park; we’re all learning and growing together. And even though I have this anxiety, I’m learning there’s so many more mama’s out there like me and this is ok. I can feel like this and I’ll be ok-with the love from my children and my husband, support from my family and friends, and a bunch of people I don’t personally know but are there to say “hey, I get it, I understand, and I’m here if you need anything”.
I see all the Mama’s out there struggling like I am. The smiles you have to force because you want your kids to believe you’re ok. I get it. I feel you. And my heart is with you. We can all do hard things. And this, well this one of those things.